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See, that’s what the app is perfect for.

Sounds perfect Wahhhh, I don’t wanna
6livevil6
6livevil6

Emergency Relief

Seeking relief in order to stay warm and safe through the holiday season.

A series of unfortunate events has lead me into homelessness, occasionally leaving my spouse and I to sleep in our vehicle which holds the last of the belongings from our old life. This morning we discovered one of our tires had something stuck in it and was totally flat. We can’t afford a new tire right now, we’ve been putting off getting an oil change for over a month already.

The vehicle is all we have. Selling it is not an option. We both have jobs and pay our car payment, insurance, phone bills, etc. But we have been so stretched thin we do not have any spare funds at all, and we don’t have family who are able to assist us through this difficult time.

I am asking for relief in order to help us survive until the New Year. Getting to and from our jobs is our number one priority, and public transportation is not an option where we are.

Thank you so much for reading.

Peace and love, 

Oliver Graham 

💜💜💜

PS- donation links and information:

https://www.paypal.me/olivergraham9

Venmo: @transitionmatrix

email address(for google pay or paypal): transitionmatrix@gmail.com

Cash app: $OliverGraham9

Do you ever think about how expensive it is to be a trans person? Granted not every trans person has the same journey or milestones or goals or whatever, but like wow … Honestly who can afford to even breathe? As the year comes to a close and the new...

Do you ever think about how expensive it is to be a trans person? Granted not every trans person has the same journey or milestones or goals or whatever, but like wow … Honestly who can afford to even breathe?

As the year comes to a close and the new year approaches I’ve been doing the obvious and thinking about the future and trying to set goals. And with all of that comes the moral to every story, money ruins everything, living is too fucking expensive, someone please send help lmao

Making the decision to “medically transition” is something that wasn’t much of a decision at all, I knew that without out it I wasn’t going to end up making it. So then its a no brainer, right? Except medically transitioning and my budget don’t quite line up. I was bumped off of Medicaid earlier this year when I turned 21 and since then all prescriptions and appointments and blood work and whatever has all had to come out of my pocket… and there’s only lint in there, maybe an old gum wrapper.

Then add on laser appointments that are supposed to be every 4-6 weeks, but like a bitch can’t afford almost $500 every 4 weeks, so the burning off of my hair is an even more prolonged experience. Then throw on the legal funs of gender marker changes and name changes and court fees and blah blah blah.

Then throw on trying to save up so a doctor can peel off my face and cut and grind my skull just so I can feel slightly less trash. Cuz that’s what it all comes down to at the end of the day, all of this, all of this expensive ass shit just to try and relieve some of my dysphoria. #blessed

But with all of that and then never ending and extremely expensive hurdles trying to drown me, I’m actually really lucky and privileged to be able to do any of this at all. To have access to medical care, to have supportive family and friends, to have a supportive me lmao

So like wow, being trans is expensive and tbh idk who can actually afford this and still be a person 🤷🏻‍♀️🤷🏻‍♀️🤷🏻‍♀️
https://www.instagram.com/p/Brnpn5_B_E6/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=z1brz51sylid

blessed
PS capitalism can choke. In what world does it makes sense that people are starving because they don’t have enough numbers in their bank account or pieces of paper in their hand while we have grocery stores throwing out excess food every day? Where...

PS capitalism can choke. In what world does it makes sense that people are starving because they don’t have enough numbers in their bank account or pieces of paper in their hand while we have grocery stores throwing out excess food every day? Where people don’t have roofs over their heads and clothes on their backs but others have literal billions of dollars? Where people can’t afford the medications that are keeping them alive? Where corporations profit off of the suffering of others and locking up people in cages?

Who wants to live in a system where for you to have something means someone else can’t? And that magical mystical elusive ‘something’ is just the right to existence.

Like imagine a world where everyone had access to what they needed, wouldn’t that just be absolutely terrible and disgusting???
https://www.instagram.com/p/Brno9vfBcju/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=126bkoa9jduqp

me? doing? a? look??? So this year I took part in @riplyofficial ’s annual makeup competition and the theme was Hollywood Madame. So from there I jumped off of the references to money and came up with this concept of like a money/capitalism virgin...

me? doing? a? look???

So this year I took part in @riplyofficial ’s annual makeup competition and the theme was Hollywood Madame. So from there I jumped off of the references to money and came up with this concept of like a money/capitalism virgin mary and here we are now lmao.

Floating halo made out of the credit cards that sustained my childhood via my mom’s debt and an old broken lampshade. Then I did some kind of paper mache with fake dollars featuring the scratched out eyes of some crusty old white dudes, old jewelry, rhinestones, and sequins from a @patmcgrathreal prize I won previously into a collar lol

Makeup inspo from the iconic goddess that is @imp_kid and the awe inspiring @isshehungry
https://www.instagram.com/p/BrnoVG8he7k/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=lca5y6fsq500

(3/3) Little things like that makes me think about how being trans and trying to navigate the medical field so often involves the question of how many parts of yourself are you willing to break? How many scars are you willing to pretend don’t exist?...

(3/3)
Little things like that makes me think about how being trans and trying to navigate the medical field so often involves the question of how many parts of yourself are you willing to break? How many scars are you willing to pretend don’t exist? How many comments are you willing to ignore? How much can your body and mind be invaded in order to be treated like a human being? How many time are you willing to be traumatized in an effort to handle your trauma?

Because ultimately so many of us know that navigating these spaces to get what we want and need to live all comes down to a transaction. How many times can your existence be twisted in order to pay for what you need? How many times can your body be examined as an anomaly in front of the class before you run out of credit and can no longer pay the fee? How many times can you awkwardly laugh it off until you can get what you need and you can go home?

How many days before that first appointment are you having panic attacks about what to wear so they take you seriously? So they don’t think it’s just a costume, and so they don’t think you’re lying? Where you’re trying to predict their understanding of transness and you consider reshaping yourself to fit that, even if just for the day so they believe you.

I’m not 100% sure where I was going with all of this, but I guess what it comes down to is sometimes to navigate medical spaces you do have to kind of lie. Sometimes you have to code switch, and laugh it off, and be overly understanding of their attempt to be overly understanding. And even though cis people love to believe this narrative that we’re fake and trying to trick them, little do they know the only reason they’re being lied to, or given a fake smile, or a constructed facade is because they’re making us.

You might think I’m fake, but the only fake think about me is my laugh at your dumb jokes -throws fake smile across the table-

#trans #transisbeautiful #oneofthem
https://www.instagram.com/p/BqVOPCWBqW1/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=1te1ccui465mr

trans transisbeautiful oneofthem
(2/3) If we’re honest my experience navigating the medical field as a trans person has been one of privilege, granted it’s also been quite limited. I haven’t had the experience of transphobic doctors, or gatekeeping, or any of that. When I started...

(2/3)
If we’re honest my experience navigating the medical field as a trans person has been one of privilege, granted it’s also been quite limited. I haven’t had the experience of transphobic doctors, or gatekeeping, or any of that. When I started HRT earlier this year I was insured (lol granted that’s changed) and only had to pay a copay of a couple dollars for what’s essentially life saving medication. For me HRT is something that I had to do, because I knew if I had to keep maturing into adulthood via testosterone I wasn’t going to make it through my early twenties. So in order to obtain that life saving medication for both my mind and my body I have to be willing to smile and code switch my way through any and all micro aggressions that come my way.

My experience with doctors has been interesting over the last few years, because while like I said I haven’t had to deal with any bigoted doctors, I have had to deal with months of unanswered messages, emails, and contact forms asking about trans healthcare. That weird sickly overly sweet approach that you know deep down is just because they’re trying their hardest not to offend you. The tiptoeing around and weariness, like they’re trying not to spook and provoke a wild animal. That weird notion that I’m somehow the most delicate flower in the world and if you blink too hard I’ll break into a million pieces, and yet I’m also not real and ultimately crazy.

Like I said I haven’t had too much experience dealing with doctors outside of being an adult, god only knows what I would’ve had to endure or on the flip side the access I would’ve had if there wasn’t an 8 year gap in medical care after dealing with fatphobia, body policing, and huge amounts of dysphoria that I couldn’t put into words from my naked body being endlessly being examined as a child.

So instead here I am writing and overanalyzing the microagressions I have to basically just drop and move on from in order to gain access to slightly affordable medical care that’s not 50 miles away.

#trans #transisbeautiful #oneofthem
https://www.instagram.com/p/BqVOM9ghOER/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=1lv37kse61gco

trans transisbeautiful oneofthem
(1/3) So I’m in the process of moving, & while it might not be to my ideal location this little stepping stone is providing me with access to tons more than what I have now. So with that obviously comes medical care, and in calling to set up an...

(1/3)
So I’m in the process of moving, & while it might not be to my ideal location this little stepping stone is providing me with access to tons more than what I have now. So with that obviously comes medical care, and in calling to set up an appointment I casually ran into -dramatic music- a micro-aggression.

There I am psyching myself up to make a phone call, the world’s most daunting task & while on the phone with the receptionist (who already informed me she didn’t know what to do in terms of making an appointment for HRT & was passing along my info) asks me if I’m FTM (“female” to “male”) because apparently that’s what she was assuming. So anyways I’m like like “Nah, um… MTF” (which is a whole other conversation tbh) & she says “Oh no way! Wow, your voice is so good over the phone, you really tricked me!”
you. really. tricked. me.

At that point I have to laugh it off & try to awkwardly continue the conversation in order to get my information passed along. While it was a quick interaction & comment made with what I’m sure were good intentions, that doesn’t stop it from being that little reminder that in cis people’s minds we’re just creatures playing dress up out to trick you if you’re dumb enough to be the fool.

This probably could’ve been a teaching moment, but in that 0.2 second timeframe there is to respond I did what so many of us have to do while trying to navigate literally any space in a trans body. It’s either react truthfully and risk the backlash of correcting someone holding the keys to your medical care, or laugh it off & try to move on as quickly as you can so you can get what you need. As a trans person, my life can’t revolve around making every interaction a teachable moment, y’all aint paying for no teachable moments & I’m not serving my librarian chic/professor look today.

Afterwards I was talking about this little interaction & basically just how cringey it was, and my response of “oh well, even if they end up being trash but give me what I need, I’ll just have to suck it up & deal with it.” Made me think about what I’m willing to put up with in order to continue access to something like medical care.
#transisbeautiful #oneofthem
https://www.instagram.com/p/BqVOIREBCJX/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=1bx8195a8ri2h

transisbeautiful oneofthem
So I recently passed six months on HRT, and it’s been interesting lol. Starting HRT was something I knew I had to do for quite awhile before I actually took any steps to make that a reality. I kept waiting and putting it off until I realized I...

So I recently passed six months on HRT, and it’s been interesting lol. Starting HRT was something I knew I had to do for quite awhile before I actually took any steps to make that a reality. I kept waiting and putting it off until I realized I couldn’t keep putting myself last and I wouldn’t make it if I kept trying.

So here we are six months later, it’s wild that it’s already been so long, but also it feels like April was 20 years ago. I haven’t noticed a whole ton of physical changes, and I didn’t suddenly start bursting out into tears. I guess my HRT journey hasn’t been following the typical tale in that regard lol.

But something I have noticed since starting HRT is a change in my anxiety and mental state. I feel like since I started taking these pills everyday my brain hasn’t been holding me back in the same way. Now don’t get me wrong, she’s still a physical manifestation of anxiety, but it’s like I’m able to power through it all a little easier than I could before? Like being able to go places by myself??? Being able to talk to random people in public and socialize???? Feeling more secure?????? WHAT??? WHOMST??????

Now I don’t know if I can actually attribute all of that to hormones or if that’s just the product of self care and working on myself … But like whatever I’m not gonna complain 🤷🏻‍♀️ Other than sore boobs and paying for the prescriptions every month it hasn’t been too bad. 10/10 would do it again.

Polaroid by @thursdaymorrow 🍂
https://www.instagram.com/p/Bp-LWgyBN7m/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=mjn331bwvrfq

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